Proust Questionnaire.

The principal aspect of my personality

I think most days I’m a pretty good listener. And I’m empathetic. But the combination of the two can get me into trouble every now and again.

The quality that I desire in a man

Jokingly (well, half jokingly), I need a man who plays the guitar. Seriously, I want a man whose heart belongs to God first and then me…someone with strong faith, a strong will, and patience to deal with my craziness.

The quality that I admire in a woman

Again, I admire women with strong faith. I admire women who act according to what they say, who are giving of themselves, and who are patient.

What I appreciate most about my friends

I don’t think there’s enough space here to write about this! But the condensed version would be this — I appreciate their stories. I love learning about who they were, who they are, and who they are becoming. I love seeing all of these things entwined. I love that I can be myself around them, good or bad. I love that they are patient with me and love me unconditionally. I love that they trust me. I love those moments of redemption when the wrongs have been made right.

My main fault

I’m definitely way to negative (though I’m trying REALLY hard not to be that way). And I’m stubborn and emotional.

My favorite occupation

Occupation: an activity in which one engages. I’m occupied with many things at the moment – work, church, China, Seattle, friends…….perhaps my favorite at the moment is being with new friends and sharing conversations with them.

My dream of happiness

I’m actually feeling pretty happy at the moment. Ultimately if I could just take everyone I love with me everywhere I want to go, that’d be awesome! But not even close to realistic. So just making the most of those moments that I do have with them.

What would be my greatest misfortune?

To never really feel like I’ve made something of myself.

What I should like to be

Bold.

The country where I should like to live

Uganda or Ireland. Either one is acceptable.

My favorite color

Blue

My favorite prose author

Dag Hammarskjold, “Markings”

My favorite poets

Old Testament writers

My heroes in fiction

Holden Caufield, “Catcher in the Rye”

My favorite composers

Rachmaninoff, John Powell, John Barry

My favorite painters

Monet

My heroes in real life

Jesus, Bono, Mark, Sandy, Marsha

My heroines in history

Mother Theresa

My favorite food and drink

Tacos and XXX Vitamin Water

My favorite names

If I ever have children: Malachi for a boy and Ella for a girl

What I hate most of all

Self-righteous people, cake, and snakes

The gift of nature that I would like to have

I wish I could sing. Not like carry-a-tune sing…but really sing. Like knock the wind out of people sing.

How I want to die

As quickly and painlessly as possible.

My present state of mind

I’m just overly sentimental today for some reason. Glad for new friends, missing old friends, ready to go on my next adventure. Excited and hopeful of what is to come.

Faults for which I have the most indulgence

I over talk things way to much. I justify it by saying I’m trying to “deal” with whatever the situation. But really I just like hearing myself talk and eventually succumb to gossiping rather than any healthy dialogue about anything.

My motto

Christ Preeminent.

My Name is Hilary and I’m a people pleaser.

I read this article on relevantmagazine.com today.

All I can say is, WOW. I think I fit very much into that category. Talk about convicting.

I have this incredible craving for attention, for other people’s approval, for being available to people. Sometimes it’s so intense that I will do insane things to satiate that craving. There have been times that I’ve put my entire life on hold, jeopardizing my job, my finances, etc… just to accommodate someone else’s needs. Not that I think it is a bad thing to be accommodating……….but there certainly needs to be a line drawn.

Unfortunately along with this I’ve also found myself desiring to fix people, circumstances, etc… Â I want so badly to fix people’s problems that I drive myself loony — because I can’t fix them!!

I’ve narrowed it down to one main problem that feeds this part of me: lack of trust in God. I trust God with many, many things. But the one thing I have trouble handing over is taking care of other people. Why? I have no idea! It’s crazy for me to even believe for a second that anything I do or say is fixing people.

Enneagram Test Results…

I took the Enneagram Test this morning. Below are my results…

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Type Two : The Helper

The caring, interpersonal type. Twos are empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. They are friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing, but can also be sentimental, flattering, and people-pleasing. They are well-meaning and driven to be close to others, but can slip into doing things for others in order to be needed. They typically have problems with possessiveness and with acknowledging their own needs. At their Best: unselfish and altruistic, they have unconditional love for others.

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Type Four : The Individualist

The introspective, romantic type. Fours are self-aware, sensitive, and reserved. They are emotionally honest, creative, and personal, but can also be moody and self-conscious. Withholding themselves from others due to feeling vulnerable and defective, they can also feel disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living. They typically have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity. At their Best: inspired and highly creative, they are able to renew themselves and transform their experiences.

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I had equal scores in both types. From my perspective, I’d say those are spot on. For those of you who know me well, what do you think?